"Daddy has Cancer"
Hi "Deeply Rooted" Friends. Here is "Losing a Piece of you heart Series, Blog #1. “You were unsure which pain is worse — the shock of what happened or the ache for what never will”.
This is what I struggle with the most right now. I’m in limbo. When I go there, it’s between these two spaces. What saves me from living to long in either one... is my kids. My season of life. My constant crazy is what does not let me dwell to long in one vs. the other. For those of you who know me in some form or fashion, know I lost my dad 2 years ago. Quickly. Devastatingly. Heroically. My life was turned upside down with 3 words and then shattered with the face of my father crossed to other side in an ER bed. But the journey in between those 2 days has been everything. I have learned more than any expensive education could ever provide. I have learned love, fear, hopelessness, strength, courage, fearlessness, family, uncertainty, loyalty, despair, emptiness, friendship, anger, community, fight. I have learned things no text book could ever teach...and I have learned more about myself than anything else.
Whether your dealing with loss, someone your afraid to lose, a beautiful relationship, a challenging one...Follow me here. We might not share the same past...or future...same beginning...or end. You might have a whole other list of feelings above. But go there. Because loss and grief... Is a very personal path for all...but a commonality that joins us together. It steals time. Time you wish you could do different or time you wish you could selfishly relive over again. Regardless, it’s taken from you without your consent.
I’ll never forget that night in fall 2015. The distraught sound of my mother’s voice on the other end of the line will haunt me forever and be the start to a journey that shook my whole world. “Daddy has cancer”.
Have any of you faced those words with someone you love or yourself? How did you feel in those initial moments?